Happy New Year!

Today on new year’s eve this slightly grumpy old man was trying to remember details about past new year’s celebrations. A couple of days ago I was asked by a friend what my plans were for this year. My answer was that I don’t have any and I’m OK with that. At my age this is perfectly acceptable, but if memory serves, when I was younger, having no place to participate in some sort of new years eve ritual would have been a bit embarrassing. 

New years along with Halloween is one of American culture’s most diversely celebrated holidays. Although the origins of all the silly things we do to ring in the new year – excessive drinking, noisemaking, wearing silly hats, kissing strangers, etc. – can be sourced to ancient pagan and christian rituals from thousands of years ago, I’m not sure many people could explain why we do the things that we do on new years eve today. To this day I have never understood what would compel millions of people to subject themselves to the horrors of Times Square on new years eve. Once on new years eve I went to see a Broadway show with a large group of friends and got separated from them in the crowd trying to get to a restaurant where we had after-show reservations. I never made it to the restaurant and went home feeling a bit embarrassed that I was the only one who didn’t make it there, but secretly happy to be home in front of the TV at midnight with a glass of milk and PB&J sandwich instead of in an over crowded noisy restaurant.

My memory is a bit fuzzy on new year’s memories, but a quick survey in my head comes up with about 50-50 good and bad memories with a lot of years just blank. I guess there were a lot of years that were just unmemorable. While it can be pleasant to toast the new new year with a few close friends, I have often over the years found myself in a situation where I’m toasting the new year with one or two friends plus 20 or 30 strangers who I will most likely never see again. I think large new years eve parties are prone to collecting lots of acquaintances and friends of friends and tag-alongs which can be a recipe for boredom and/or disaster, especially when booze is being abundantly consumed. The festivities can often feel somewhat forced as you go through the required rituals. Does anybody even know what Auld Lang Syne means? 

I have happy memories of a big new years party saying good bye to 1976 and the end of the bicentennial year. I distinctly remember feeling lucky and happy to be where and with whom I was that year. I feel lucky to have been young and in NYC at a time so full of fun and unlimited possibilities. To those of us who survived, there will never be party that could come close to party that was NYC in throughout 70’s.

I also had some good times at new years eve at The LGBT Center when I worked on the Center Dance Committee. The new years parties we put on there were lots of work, but also lots of fun. One year I spent hours rigging an elaborate system to drop confetti on the dance floor at midnight. It worked well but a lot of people were pissed that their champagne glasses filled with soggy confetti before they could toast the new year. Another year I was the entertainment just before midnight in blue sequins and a red wig lip-synching like a veteran drag queen. I’m not sure who’s idea this was, but the crowd did not boo and I got to yell “Happy New Year!” at the end of the song, so they had to applaud and cheer even if it wasn’t for my performance.

I guess in retrospect the best new years celebrations are the ones that are planned carefully, so that you're with someone or several someones that you care about in a comfortable place where you want to be. Even if that means your by yourself, it’s OK as long as you can raise your “cup of kindness” and remember all the people from times gone by that made your life interesting and worthwhile. From a Scots poem by Robert  Burns written 1788 later set to a traditional folk tune, that’s what “Auld Lang Syne” means. 

Here’s to times gone by and Robert Burns!

Holiday Ambivalence and a Little Good Cheer

Every year I try to keep my expectations very low throughout the holiday season from turkey day to new years.  I’ll go to holiday parties and family gatherings when invited, and I enjoy them, but as I become more of a slightly grumpy old man I enjoy the holidays more as a spectator than active participant. When your expectations are low your disappointments are few and the pleasures are more pleasurable when they come as a surprise. You will never experience the holidays as much as you did when you were child. Look at the kid on the bouncy-horse at the end of this video. That’s the kind of simple joy that only a 3-year-old can have and will never be in your my life again. Why try? 

Because of my laissez-faire attitude toward the holidays I have been accused by friends and co-workers of being a bit of a Grinch. Once I was given a black Santa hat with the words “humbug!” embroidered on the front because I didn’t display the proper amount of enthusiasm for the season. I don’t hate Christmas and certainly don’t wish to spoil the festivities for anyone else. It’s just that I find that I don’t feel the need to wallow in the yearly round of nostalgia and good cheer that I often find forced and over-done. It also goes on way too long. Also because I’m a devout atheist, the religious aspects of Christmas are wasted on me. However, the glitter and tinsel-covered kitsch-fest that dominates American Christmas can be fun to watch. Last year I was invited by a friend who had been given tickets to the Radio City Christmas Spectacular and it was a blast. It’s like evolution has come full circle and the pagan Saturnalia rituals that early Christians adopted to celebrate Jesus’ B’day have returned to their roots as a celebration of greed and avarice. Only it’s a spectacular high-tech 21st century one with a glossy veneer of sentimentality. 

This year I was invited to a karaoke party and actually enjoyed singing a few Christmas carols after a couple of beers. The highlight, however was when a friend showed up with his friend Neil Sedaka, who joined in and sang a few his songs. For those of you too young to know, Neal Sedaka is a singer/songwriter who had a string of top 40 hits in the 60’s and wrote a lot of tunes recorded by other pop stars of the era. I don’t look like I’m having much fun in this picture and I refused to where antlers, but it was fun. Really! 

Also this year I was invited to participate in SantaCon by some friends. The idea of an all-day bar crawl wearing a Santa suit didn’t hold much appeal for me, but I did join them for brunch and two bars.  They’re a great bunch of guys and I appreciate that they will occasionally include this grumpily old man in their festivities. Both bars we stopped at were not crowded and the noise level allowed normal conversation. I was happy to wave goodbye as they headed on to more popular venues in Chelsea.

Next it’s off to see a the cabaret act of drag queen, Hedda Lettuce do her Christmas show of holiday favorites defiled with obscene lyrics.