More Innocent Times

Obviously my little brother Mark found this hilarious

I found this childhood photo of me while going through family albums at my mother’s house last year. I’m around eight years old and dressed up like a girl. This wasn’t just playing “dress-up” as we used to call it in 1958. This was what we would view now as full on drag with lipstick, pearls and a ponytail made out of lock of hair my mother had saved (more on that later). My mother had dressed me for the entertainment at the monthly meeting for the cub scout troop to which I belonged. I wish I could tell you that I lip-synched to Patti Page’s big hit that year “How Much is That Doggy in the Window?” and brought the house down, but alas no. Apparently the Boy Scouts of America in 1958 in their publication sent to leaders outlining possible programs for troop meetings, suggested that it would be hilarious for all the den mothers to dress their sons as girls and have a “Funny Fashion Show.” That’s the reason that the “dress” I’m wearing in the photo is actually a burlap feed sack. “Sack” dresses were a fashion statement in 1958. I don’t remember what the other boys/girls were wearing except for the one member of my den who refused to where a dress. They put him in capri pants.

"Sack" dresses were a thing in 1958

Seeing this photo made made me laugh and brought back a lot of long forgotten memories. I was also very surprised to find this photo because I thought that I had destroyed them all when I was old enough to be embarrassed by them at 13 or 14. I remember being quite determined to get rid of all the photos from that day ripping them up and throwing them in the trash. Now I’m glad I missed one and that I can share it with friends and fans who know that playing “dress-up” is something I came back to have some fun with much later in life. In the photo it looks like I was having fun back then as well.

Seeing this photo also made me think about all the issues surrounding gender identity and children which is perplexing many parents these days in ways that would have been unthinkable in 1958. It’s hard to imagine that the Boys Scouts of America we know today suggesting to den mothers all over the country that it would fun to dress their young sons up as girls and parade them around in public for everyones amusement without a second thought about what kind of irreparable damage it my do to their fragile prepubescent minds. Yet that is what they did. 

I was curious to verify that this wasn’t just some outlier den mother in Michigan that came up this idea, but that it was actually something that came from the BSA headquarters. Thanks to the miracle of the internet I found a newspaper article from around that time with pictures–from Salt Lake City Utah no less. I can only presume that many of the “girls” in the picture are just a decade away from being called by the LDS to do their missionary work in crisp white shirts and ties.

From the Salt Lake Telegram, 1957

The 50’s was a more innocent time and I’m sure that there were many parents, particularly fathers, who wouldn’t let their young sons participate in such an emasculating thing. However it did happen and cub scouts all over the country were cross-dressers for a day just for fun without any judgement or concerns from adults about what the experience might mean to their development into well adjusted young men. Perhaps there were some who were psychologically damaged by it and grew up to be wife-beaters or bullies to compensate for the for the shame of knowing they once were forced to wear gender inappropriate attire. Perhaps some of those boys even grew up to be secret cross-dressers living double lives remembering the day it all started in the cub scouts – the day they discovered the feel of silk and chiffon against their skin made them happy. Certainly some grew up to be homosexuals. I know of at least one who did. However I can also say with certainty that the fact that I had some fun in a dress at the age of eight didn’t make me gay. I played dress-up a lot when I was a kid. In my closet there was a box of old clothes that was there for us to play with and we did. We put on old hats, shoes, ties and yes, dresses. We pretended to be people we were not. It’s what kids did and I presume still do when they play. Then you get older and you put little kid things aside to please your parents and fit in with your peers. Certainly back then any boy beyond a certain age who continued to choose girlie things to play with over boy things was going to have problems in most families. 

Certainly if I had continued putting on dresses and lipstick after the age of nine or ten there would have been concern from my parents, but by puberty I was “normal” enough to be embarrassed by reminders of my childish behavior as a little kid, especially the pictures of me dressed like a girl. However, in retrospect I think my parents didn’t pressure me too much to conform to hardline gender specific behaviors and interests. In my family, as the middle child who was considered the more “creative” of my siblings, I was allowed to stray a bit outside the boundaries of normal gender specific interests. I played with cars, trucks and toy guns but I also had a puppet theater. I liked music and performing and both my parents encouraged me. I learned how to use tools from my dad and my mom taught me how to use a sewing machine. Dad would take my brothers and me to the movies to see many of the action-adventure movies of the 50’s and 60’s like “Ben-Hur” and “The Buccaneer.” Very much “guy” movies, but he also bought sheet music of songs he liked for me to learn how to play on the piano. Mom took me to see shows and concerts. I learned many skills from both my parents that have served me well in life for which I will always be grateful..

My grandmother Edith as a young girl

I can only imagine what new challenges are brought to the parenting game today with all the gender and sexual identity issues being being more openly discussed and dealt with publicly by young people, adults and children. However while I look at all the old photos of me and my brothers and cousins as kids, I think that maybe back then in more innocent times, there were fewer things for parents to worry about. I wouldn’t suggest that things were better when I was growing up. However, I think one lesson that 21st century parents might take from their mid-20th century predecessors is to relax a bit and try not to obsess too much over the consequences on their kids for everything they do as parents. Parents today would probably cringe at much of what their grandparents did as parents, but a substantial number us survived without too much permanent damage. Children are pretty resilient and will probably deal with a whole bunch of really crazy stuff that we haven’t even thought off yet. So if your eight-year-old son wants to put on a dress and lip-synch to Lady Gaga don’t discourage him (unless of course he’s got no talent). He will move on to other things tomorrow or maybe he won’t, but either way, he’ll probably survive just as most of those little boys that the BSA encouraged to dress like girls in 1958 did. I’m pretty certain that most of them grew up to be respectable adults Sure one or two of them may have grown up to be drag queens, but so what? Today it’s a viable career choice.

About the ponytail I was wearing in the photo: It was a long lock of hair that my mother had saved from when her mother cut her hair. It was a long substantial amount of hair and I assume that my grandmother saved when she gave up the Gibson Girl look of her youth. It matched my hair color perfectly and I used again ten years later when I needed a ponytail for a period play I was in my senior year of high school.