Sitting on bench in Central Park’s Conservatory Gardens on a beautiful spring day I look up as the sun filters through the apple blossoms and my eyes fill with tears as I weep for my city. I weep because this city will recover from this pandemic, but I know it will be forever changed by it. Just as it was changed by economic crisis 47 years ago when I first arrived. In 1973 the city’s tax base was depleted by “white flight” to the suburbs and its infrastructure was in shambles. Subway cars were covered in graffiti that was horrible and at the same time beautiful. Central Park’s landscapes and nineteenth century structures were crumbling from neglect, but they were still beautiful. The trees and flowers still bloomed every spring and New Yorkers still gathered there by the thousands every summer. The city recovered from that crisis and was better. There were more economic booms and busts, blackouts, epidemics of crack cocaine use that caused massive crime and incarceration, the AIDS epidemic that decimated my community, terrorist attacks, and hurricanes. I’ve seen my city survive and recover from these things and in each case be forever changed. Survival and change is and has always been an indelible part of New York’s DNA. It is the magnificent invalid always dying, always being reborn or reinvented. A city of contradictions as unfathomed wealth exists around the corner from unforgiving poverty. Sun kissed pink apple blossoms thrive three blocks away from Mt. Sinai Hospital’s emergency department as healthcare professionals struggle to care for the sick and dying in unanticipated numbers. What will my city be like when this is over? It will be forever changed but I don’t know how. I weep for the city that I know so well and for the city forever changed that I don’t yet know.
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| The Conservatory Gardens, Central Park |
Indeed the whole country will be changed by this pandemic. My hope is that the changes will be for the better and New York will be the catalyst for Americans everywhere to reevaluate the cultural and economic inequities that have left all of us so unprepared for this pandemic. Many of the movements that changed how this country viewed public healthcare, workplace safety and the value of labor started in New York City. Many of these movements were reactions to great tragedies like the Triangle Shirtwaist fire that was a major factor in the labor movement’s success in getting governments to set basic workplace safety standards. While many of the efforts regarding public health, education and safety began in the private sector, the local and state governments in New York became leaders in taking responsibility for these issues. The idea that government has a responsibility to be a force for the “public good” sprang from the slums and sweatshops of New York. Now again this pandemic has shown us that while we have made a lot of progress in our quest for maintaining the “public good” for all, there are still vast inequities that have left us all vulnerable in unforeseen ways. My city is once again the epicenter of our national tragedy and I struggle to be optimistic about the future.
Will the workers who we have long taken for granted who are now “essential” and have no healthcare, childcare and sick leave continue to show up for their minimum wage jobs? Will all those healthcare worker “heroes” be placated by the nightly applause and shouts of support from apartment windows? Will the thousands of small family run businesses and restaurants that have always been such a special aspect of city life be replaced by soulless corporate franchises? Will we finally be ready to face the consequences of the systemic racism that still plagues our country and find solutions? Will we look away as Amazon and Walmart monopolize our retail and food distribution with their fulfillment centers becoming twenty-first century sweatshops? Will all the titans of finance and industry who have fled their gilded towers to their country homes during this crisis return to resume their lives of privilege and continue to be oblivious of their culpability in this? Will things change for the better?
This city has been the source of great joy and great sorrow for me. It is the place where many of my dreams have been shattered and my heart has been broken many times, but I’m always drawn back to it. Every time I return to New York that first glimpse of the Manhattan skyline from the plane or train window reassures me that I am coming home. Whatever happens I do know that I will be a New Yorker as long as I’m able.
Now that I have ceased most all of the usual activities of my city life I’m forced into a lot self reflection and meditation, which lately has mostly revolved around memories of my life in New York City. My apprehension about how my city is going to be forever changed by this crisis has triggered many memories of the changes I’ve witnessed in my 47 years here and the circumstance that brought me here. Now that I’m an old man living the last chapters of my story, I’m going to use this venue to explore some of those memories with more regular posts to this blog.
